Friday, February 25, 2005
Does that feeling ever go away?
Eighth grade. Mid-high choir tour. We'd all descended upon a Baskin-Robbins, and by now most of us had finished our ice cream and were just sitting and talking. On one side of my table sat a guy I had a huge crush on. On the other side sat a friend of mine. She also had a crush on the guy.
The rest of the choir began to leave to walk back to our hotel, but the three of us stayed. Sitting there, glancing at each other. Conversation lagged. Nothing was said. Almost everyone else had left, but I wanted to stay. Here was the guy I liked! Sitting with me! Why couldn't she leave? Her looks begged me to leave, his asked that I stay. Maybe the latter was wishful thinking, but I waited.
He finally got up to leave, and she and I walked back to the hotel together, lagging behind him. I spent that walk wondering how I might have contrived to walk that one city block by his side. And I still vividly remember that moment--knowing what I wanted, but having no idea how to get it.
The rest of the choir began to leave to walk back to our hotel, but the three of us stayed. Sitting there, glancing at each other. Conversation lagged. Nothing was said. Almost everyone else had left, but I wanted to stay. Here was the guy I liked! Sitting with me! Why couldn't she leave? Her looks begged me to leave, his asked that I stay. Maybe the latter was wishful thinking, but I waited.
He finally got up to leave, and she and I walked back to the hotel together, lagging behind him. I spent that walk wondering how I might have contrived to walk that one city block by his side. And I still vividly remember that moment--knowing what I wanted, but having no idea how to get it.
| posted by Barbara | 7:19 PM